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| A pause in the action. |
I'm going to be using some OOC (out of character) terms and explanations because I don't want to bother with finding an IC (in character) reason. Even if I did it might just muddy the issue which is contrary to what I want.
For a few weeks I have gone on Azel's Estuary Hunt from 9 a.m. to 10:30 a.m. and then Mujin's Hunt from 11 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. That's a minimum of 4.5 hours every day devoted to Clan Lord and I began to feel that was too much.
Plus, I was getting a bit bored with healing in Ash City. There was some excitement, but there just wasn't much challenge. I could entertain myself with reading blogs or sites at the same time but can't easily do that on the computer I have. It's an old PowerMac G4 and a small 17" monitor and I have dial-up all of which add up to not being able to see the Clan Lord screen and the browser at the same time and any time I open up a web page that means I can't do anything in Clan Lord due to lack of bandwidth.
The only job I have that does pay me money requires me to write news articles and seeing an article I wanted to write get snatched up by someone else, thus denying me needed dollars, was painful.
Yes, I know I need a new computer but I also need a job and finding work is damn near impossible.
Besides, even if I could do this I'm not sure I'd want to after seeing Lorikeet standing off in the corner while fighters fall left and right and me being unable to keep up with the damage being done. That always frustrates me and I don't want to mimic that behavior.
Frustration is why I haven't been going to Azel's Estuary Hunts either. I found myself becoming very negative and saying only negative comments, especially to Azel, and I don't want her to think that I'm only thinking negative thoughts or are a negative person.
I just don't like the tagging mentality hunts seem to always have. It's tough enough having to keep in mind what you've tagged so you don't do too much damage before everyone else has tagged. Plus you have to remember what you haven't tagged so you can tag it before everyone else kills it. Then there's Mujin-kun who basically can kill everything in the Estuary just by looking at it and there's no telling when she'll decide something has to die even if it's at high health and you're trying to get to it to tag it first. There have been many times when I've been running to a beast or two trying to be able to hit and just as I get to them, Mujin-kun kills them before I have a chance to swing. I don't expect her to remember what everyone has or hasn't hit but she can see me running up to her if she's paying attention. Maybe she thinks "I don't need Jeanne to help me kill these things. I'll kill them before she gets here!" while I'm thinking "I haven't hit those things. Please don't kill them yet!
The tagging mentality also means that no one pays much attention to anyone else. It's as if the only things they see are themselves and the beasts. It doesn't matter if they make it difficult for you to get out of their way, thus trapping you and making you fall and miss tags. It doesn't matter if they lead a bunch of stuff to you which makes you fall and miss tags. It doesn't matter if a bunch of stuff is on red and attacking the healers because they've already tagged it. Then when you kill the stuff on red to help the Healers they then kill the stuff you haven't tagged before you can get to them. It's as if the minimal strategy Clan Lord has is just thrown out of the window and it's a purely chaotic environment where no one tries to work with anyone else. As long as Lorikeet and Mujin-kun are up they could care less about who else misses tags as long as they get theirs.
It makes me frustrated and it's no good asking people to be more considerate because the only thing they wait for are Rangers getting their last hits. If a Ranger wants to get a last hit on something it's even harder to tag because people will be focused on keeping that person alive and everyone else doesn't matter. I admit to doing this on Moon Kitty at times although I've tried to put a stop to it if there's a lot of stuff so the fallen doesn't miss out on too many tags.
It's not that I don't like missing tags because of the missed experience, although that's why I'm there in the first place and that is a factor in my frustration. It's just that after a certain amount of missed tags one begins to think that it would have been better to just stay in the library and that working so hard for no return is a waste of time and effort. One also thinks that they're not needed on the hunt at all and that maybe one's time is better spent elsewhere.
Although missing tags and experience are frustrating, I think that not being able to use all of the Bloodmage abilities is even more so. It seems like being able to use my Bloodblade damage as a big hit or over time could be useful depending on the circumstances. Being able to add extra damage with hemorrhage and weaken the beast with disable and/or cripple could help with healing. None of that matters because I have to keep on control mode to avoid doing too much damage, reducing the strength of a beast doesn't matter with regards to Mujin-kun, and hemorrhage uses more spirit than what I can replace with blood.
I'm reduced to running around desperately trying to hit everything before I fall without regard to tactics or what's stronger and should be killed first or the people around me and what they have or haven't tagged because I can barely keep up with my own tags much less everyone else and I can only hope I am not too inconsiderate in the process even though I try my hardest not to be.
THIS IS NOT FUN!
Anyway, I'm considering returning to Azel's Estuary Hunt but on Moon Kitty and not on Jeanne because I know that as long as the hunt contains Rangers who need last hits and taggers, it will continue to be frustrating for me. I also need to return the armor she borrowed from Azel. Well, Azel will have to accept me back of course and considering I disappeared without a word she may be very angry at me and not want me around. If that's her decision I will just have to accept it as my due for being an inconsiderate jerk.
Jeanne may as well be retired and I may just use her for role-playing purposes or if I want to revive the Sun Dragon Clan and/or Catenae for anything or if I want to go out hunting for coins. If I have the opportunity to go on a tactical hunt instead of a tagging hunt then I'll certainly go but I doubt those exist at all. I still like the Bloodmage class and it has a lot of nifty tricks and tools no other class can even approach, but being on a tagging hunt fills me with a murderous rage that can only remain unfulfilled.
Once Himitsu gets to a higher level and becomes a Ranger herself she'll be much more fun to run around and kill stuff with. Unfortunately this won't happen for a long while. I should give her some coins so she can spend time in the more expensive library.
As to Mujin-kun's hunt I'm less certain I want to return simply because her hunts are longer. Going on one 1.5 hour hunt every day is acceptable but then going on another hunt immediately after for another 2-2.5 hours is too much.
Therefore I think I'll apologize to Azel and ask to return on Moon Kitty and tell Mujin-kun I won't be going to her hunts.
Gosh this was a long post.
